December 04, 2005

This is for Wenn - my best friend and most worthy (and least likely, she claimed) rival in love - who got transported to Perth without my acknowledgement. A tonne of apricot soft nougat is expected in her return luggage.

Love & dating...39
In my early twenties, I saw it as a form of compliment, almost like telling me that I'm such an undiscovered gem. Coming to mid-twenties, I started to roll my eyes at it being a silly, superficial kind of question, much like asking if a neighbour just got home when you see him/her in the lift. In my mid-twenties, I see it as a sarcastic form of flattery, with compliment value as thin as the skin on a baby's butt - I'm assuming it's smooth and thin.

Anyway, since one such undiscovered true gem of a lady (I say it with my most sincere heart) has recently been asked this preposterous question, it just started me thinking of all the possible answers. Answers to, hopefully, elicit that dumb-founded expression that may say 'that was a stupid question, all right'.

Please feel free if you have more to add on.

Suggested answers to the question: Why are you still single? (not in order of any sort)

1. Who told you I am? I prefer to keep my marriage a secret, if you know what I mean + *wink*.

2. You have an issue with single mums?

3. I'm still recovering from my last marriage.

4. I think, therefore I am.

5. *sigh* + Why am I still single? Ya, you tell me why. I'm pretty, smart, have a great body, (and then, go on and on about how gorgeous you are.. never mind if your nose will grow - it will look beautiful on you anyway...)

6. My last boyfriend told me I'm too good for any man.

7. I don't like man + *wink*. (Potentially devastating when used with homo-phobics.)

8. I'm under psychotic treatment cos of the death of my last fiance. My shrink said it's a commitment phobia thingy. So, *smile* I don't think I'm ready to murder, I meant, see someone new.

9. You have no idea what happened to the last guy who asked me this question.

10. Because I was sent to Earth to love all mankind, not just one.

11. I have a pre-recorded answer to this question. But I forgot to bring my player out.

12. Why are you not single? + *suggestive smile/wink* (assuming it's someone from the opposite sex who asked)

13. I always have problem making decisions. It's just so difficult to decide who I want to date.

14. Nobody hates me enough to make my life miserable.

15. My mum said all men are arseholes and will be a complete waste of my time.

16. In my house, girls only start dating when they are 35. I'm still 10 years underaged.

17. I'm married to my dog.

18. I will answer you only if you pay me $10 per minute.

19. I beg your pardon, what do you mean by that?

20. *act like you are ready to cry and relate a woeful tale, turn away and if possible, walk away*

Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 14:09